


silent in an empty space

by ezwra



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Communication, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24908494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ezwra/pseuds/ezwra
Summary: Fear brains rise in a state of graceReapplying pressure, once pill, once shotI inhale your kisses, I inhale them twiceOh, we still do things like before, yeahstill commit crimes - good morning
Relationships: Jeremy Dooley/Gavin Free/Ryan Haywood/Michael Jones/Ray Narvaez Jr./Jack Pattillo/Geoff Ramsey, Jeremy Dooley/Michael Jones
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	silent in an empty space

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WORK IS BASED SOLELY OFF OF FANDOM REFERENCES AND CHARACTERISATIONS. I am writing this to rt/ah guidelines as best as I know them. I do not know of their in video personas as I havent watched regularly since 2014. These are characters based on / referencing real people, but are not those people.
> 
> wow im on a roll huh
> 
> had an idea and decided i should just write it, its unedited because when do i edit and it might not make sense
> 
> got a request? go to my tumblr @ezwra !

Despite what you might think, it’s rather easy to isolate yourself in a relationship with six other people. 

Michael often doesn't mean to, but when there’s a lot going on it’s easy to lose track of people - where they are, what they’re doing, who that person might be with. When people go off in twos or threes suddenly the groups get all mixed up in his head and michael doesn't know who’s where.

He hopes it’s the same for someone else right now.

He’s sat on the roof, the lights from the pool illuminating everything behind him with a ghostly blue light. His legs are hanging over the edge of the roof and kicking lightly, a cigarette balanced lightly between the v of his fingers. They’d done a heist the night before, and instead of the usual adrenaline rush he gets michael has been left with a major drop. His chest feels empty and his mind feels like its spinning on a record player, stuck and looping over and over.

Nothing went  _ wrong _ , per say, but their usual routine was not followed after the job finished.

Once they got to their respective safe houses, ray shot off to russia for a contract and ryan followed along for some vacation time. Geoff and jack are already planning the next heist, and michael assumes jeremy is still in there with them. He was meant to be in there too, but soon the feeling that his body was plummeting through a hole became too much and he stepped out quickly. Gavin wasn't even in the heist, busy doing something with dan and handling things with the Cockbyte branch in the UK on the Founders’ requests.

For once michael knows where everyone else is, but he wishes he didn't.

Michael takes a drag and holds the smoke, letting the burn seep through his chest until he coughs and it all escapes into the night air. His ribs ache where bruises are spread across skin and muscle like constellations, dark centres melting and seeping out into pinks and reds and greens. His cheekbone itches where stitches pull tightly at his skin and he can still taste blood in the back of his throat. 

The pain grounds him momentarily as he flicks the cigarette butt over the edge of the building and watches the golden embers sink into the inky darkness.

A door opens behind him, but he says nothing. Fingers flexing and relaxing and his nails scratching against the concrete tiles on the roof. He imagines tipping forwards and being swallowed up by the night, the sensation of falling and the wind rushing through his hair like he's on the highway with his family-

A warm body settles down behind him, legs bracketing his own and another hand wrapping around each of the ones scratching at the floor. A chin rests on his shoulder and warm breath brushes over michael’s ear.

“Wonderin’ where you were,” it’s jeremy, michael doesn't know why he didn't realise that sooner when he feels those biceps against his waist, “it’s late. You coming back down soon?”

Michael sighs and closes his eyes, squeezing jeremy’s hands and trying to focus his mind on something, “i don't know.”

Jeremy nods against his back, stubble scratching through his shirt. The sensation makes him shudder gently, goosebumps rising on his arms.

“Gavin called a minute ago,” jeremy says, dragging his thumbs along the backs of michael’s hands. The callouses give him something to think about. “Asked about the heist. Said he’s already called ryan and ray.”

“That’s good.”   


Jeremy nods again, “yeah. He was sad he missed you.”

Michael’s heart clenches but he doesn't say anything, just tightens his grip a little before leaning back into jeremy’s body. Jeremy accepts the weight easily and michael is suddenly grateful that he came up instead of geoff or jack. They would just smother him and drag him back inside, but jeremy’s gentle acceptance brings some peace to his mind. Normally ray would sit with him or gavin would distract him, depending on how badly he’s doing. He’s never been like this near ryan, and he doesn't intend to. That’s just not how their pairing works, as unhealthy as it sounds.

One of jeremy’s hands goes to move, and michael is slightly embarrassed by his instinctive reaction. He grips the hand tighter, probably too tight, and gulps, “don't,” he says, voice almost weak with how quiet it is, “i… its helping…”

Jeremy nods, linking their fingers and holding on tighter with both hands, “okay, michael.”

Silence settles over them again. It’s comfortable until that turntable-skipping sets back in, his body starting to feel detached and molasses-slow. It seems that jeremy notices, or he decides that the silence is becoming oppressive, because he nudges michael’s leg with his foot.

“Geoff wants your input on some explosives stuff,” jeremy shifts his head and his voice is much clearer, “ray mentioned some gang buying properties in our territory in another name and moving ordnance into them, and ryan was all for the idea of mindless destruction.”

Michael nods, his mind still slow. It takes a few minutes but eventually he says, “we taking any of it?”   


“None of the drugs or vehicles, only the weapons and any money caches.”

“Gavin know about this?”

“Yeah,” jeremy shifts closer, “he’s already working on cameras and work schedules.”

Michael sighs and frowns, “he should relax. We  _ all _ should,” michael leans forwards and releases jeremy’s hands, holding his own head and looking over the edge of the roof, “we’ve just finished a fuckin’ job, now we’re already prepping for another one. Jack’s gonna run herself ragged again and rays gonna go all quiet and…”

Hands settle on his waist where his shirt has risen up, “things are…” jeremy seems to be searching for the right words because he pauses for a while, “ _ busy _ , right now. But i'm sure we could talk to geoff and make sure this one isn't too soon.”

“No,” michael says, “there’s too many risks involved, and he’s our  _ boss _ so it’s unprofessional-”

“He’s also our  _ boyfriend _ ,” jeremy’s hands slide forwards to rest on his stomach, cold on the warm skin there, “he’s not going to force you to do anything if you're not feeling up to it, and i'm sure he’s feeling the drain too.”

Michael nods gently, but deep down he knows he wont talk to geoff. Doesn't see the point. Instead he just hopes he’s going to be more functional than he is right now before the heist eventually dawns on them, or the preparations he has to do. Whatever comes first.

“You wanna come back inside?” jeremy asks, michael smiles a little when a kiss is pressed against his neck, “we don't have to sleep, we can just watch some movies. I don't wanna leave you alone.”

Those words make something warm grow in michael’s chest, so he turns around carefully and presses a kiss to jeremy’s stubbly jaw, “sounds good, lil j.”

Jeremy stands first, and michael follows swiftly when a hand is offered. He collects his pack of cigs and lighter from the floor, and jeremy hums gently, “ryan wouldn't be pleased if he saw that.”

“Oh well,” michael shrugs, “he’s not here. What he doesn't know wont hurt him.”

Jeremy takes the lead, leading their journey back into the penthouse. It’s silent, even the TV isn't on, and the door to the board room is shut and the lights are off. Michael sees the properties on the cork board and a pit opens up inside of him.

“C’mon,” jeremy leads him past, opening the door to his bedroom, “you can use some of my clothes, if you want.”   


Michael scoffs, grinning tiredly, “as if i wasn't gonna take this prime chance to steal more of your clothes for my collection.”

He may be a fellow lad, but jeremy is  _ definitely _ gent sized, so he’s always a victim of clothes stealing crimes. He doesn't complain, just smirks and shrugs, “thats fine, just don't tell the other two hellions that i'm letting you take them.”

Michael pulls off his tshirt and rolls his eyes, humming, “ray’s got ryan alone for however long, so he’s got prime clothes stealing opportunities -  _ especially  _ since they probably wont spent much time together with clothes on,” jeremy laughs with a soft  _ fair point _ , “and gavin’s got dan, so.” a bubble of jealousy rises, but he shoves it down. He’s been working on his possessiveness, but it still irks him when any of his partners are alone with someone, previous partner or not.

Nodding, jeremy climbs into bed in just some boxers, “you gotta tell me their story at some point, cause gavin always gets weird when i ask.”

He frowns and shrugs, searching carefully through the set of drawers. “Not my story to tell,” he says, smiling a little to himself when he finds some of his own older shirts in some of the folded piles, “but i  _ will _ say it might have included me fighting dan the man.”

“I wish i could have seen it.”

Michael drops his sweatpants, pulling on one of the older hoodies in the drawers - an old university branded sweater - and some baggy boxers that look more like shorts, “you really don't.  _ Not _ one of my proudest moments.”

It’s strange how normal he feels right now, when not even an hour ago it felt like his world was collapsing in on him and suffocating him. His mind has caught up, albeit not completely, and his stomach doesn't feel absent anymore. He’s kinda hungry, but doesn't say anything about it.

Michael climbs into bed after turning off the main light and jeremy turns on the tv, turning the volume down low. Michael considers his usual facade of  _ i'm not cuddling until you do because i'm totally not touch starved _ , but instead he lays perpendicular to jeremy and lays his head on the other man’s stomach, listening to his pulse and closing his eyes as a hand settles in his hair.

The lights dance over his eyelids for a while and he waits. Waits for jeremy’s breath to even out, for the hand in his hair to still, for anything else that might occur.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, tangling his hand in the bottom sheets of the bed. The hand in his hair tightens gently but he doesn't get another response.

-

Michael wakes up slowly when his body decides to. The blinds are shut, so he doesn't know what time it might be, and his phone is in his own room down the hall, battery dead for two days now.

A hand tightens on his hip and he leans into the touch, bringing the sheets up higher. He shifted in the night, and now jeremy’s spooned up close behind him, steady and almost protective.

“W’time is it..?” michael rubs his face into the pillow, smiling at jeremy’s familiar metallic smokey scent.

The man behind him hums low, scooting even closer, “nearly two pm.”

Michael frowns heavily, brows furrowing before he turns over. Their noses nearly brush together. “And you didn't wake me beforehand? How long have  _ you _ been awake?”

He shrugs innocently and moves his hand from michael’s hip to the side of his abdomen, his palm resting over a scar. “You needed some sleep, so i wasn't gonna force you awake,” his hand shifts up under the hoodie, eyes shifting down, “and i've been up for a while.”

“You didn't have to wait.” michael says, voice quiet. It’s really sweet, jeremy is  _ always _ sweet, but he doesn't want to be the reason that he doesn't get anything done today.

“I don't want you waking up alone, i don't like the thought,” jeremy admits, pulling a face and looking away, “but it was… nice. To see you sleeping, and to just be with you.”

Michael suddenly understands the Grinch, how much it might have hurt in such a good way for his heart to grow and feel alive again. 

He sighs out, studying jeremy’s face for a few minutes. Eventually, michael reaches a hand up and cups the other man’s cheek gently, leaning in and kissing him softly. He doesn't push it any further, just a gentle press of their mouths, but that somehow makes it so much better, “thank you,” he says, smiling gently.

Jeremy laughs softly, cheeks going red. Michael watches as the redness spreads down to his collar, smirking gently. “I…” jeremy grins a little, “i  _ appreciate _ the thank yous,” he leans down and kisses the dip in michael’s collar, “but there’s honestly no need. I would do anything for you.”

Michael laughs, “for  _ love _ ?”

Jeremy grins and presses even closer, barely restraining his smile while kissing michael’s cheek, “definitely, but i  _ wont _ let you steal more of my clothes after this.”

“No,  _ definitely  _ not that.” 

They tangle up in each other, laughing and pressing soft kisses wherever they are. Their legs tangle and their arms wrap around each other, and michael can feel the last of his negative feelings drain away.

That is, until there’s a knock at the door.

“Boys,” jack’s voice floats through, she sounds more awake than michael feels right now, “you awake now?”

Michael groans out, “yeah, we’re up.”

She opens the door and leans against the frame, crossing her arms and smiling down at them both, “cute. Geoff wants a meeting.”

Dread curls around michael’s stomach like a fist, but jeremy squeezes his hand encouragingly under the covers, “we’ll be out in five, jackie.”   


She smiles and walks over, pressing a kiss to each of their heads before leaving and closing the door behind herself.

“Ugh,” michael rolls onto his back, arm flopping over his eyes, “i almost forgot about all the bullshit we’re gonna have to do now…”

Jeremy sits up, pulling the sheets away from michael’s body and letting some of the warmth out, “don't worry,” he says, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, “it wont be too bad, michael.”

Michael follows jeremy in getting out of bed, but doesn't bother pulling any new clothes on. His legs are cold but when he shoves his hands in the pocket he almost feels warm again. 

The two of them walk out and over to the boardroom; michael almost hesitates at the door, but instead he powers through the dread and anticipation and follows jeremy into the room, kicking the door shut behind himself and sitting in the wheelie chair closest to it next to jeremy. 

Jack is sat in her usual seat next to the head of the table and geoff is fiddling with the computer and projector at the front of the room. They technically don't have assigned seats but they all have their favourites, so its strange to be sat in ryan’s seat instead of his own next to jack.

The projector eventually turns on, and when jack leans over to help a skype window opens too. Two calls go out, one to gavin’s account and the other to ryan’s. The former answers first, and michael’s heart aches. Gavin’s hair is limp and he looks so tired without any of his make up on, but he smiles brightly anyway, “my lovely lads, and my favourite lady!”

Jack smirks gently and rolls her eyes, “yes, gavin, hello.”

“Any reason why we’re calling now?”

Geoff waves a hand dismissively, “in a minute, when the other two jackasses are here.”   


“I'm telling them you said that,” jeremy says, smirking.

The call is accepted, and ryan and ray both show up. The connection isn't as good, but michael can still see that ray is sat in ryan’s lap with  _ many _ more bruises on his neck than he left with, and ryan isn't looking much better.

“Now that we’re all here,” geoff stretches, walking and sitting in gavin’s usual seat opposite jack so that he can see everyone in the room and on the projector. Michael realises idly that geoff is still in his pyjamas too, just an old shirt and some flannel pants. “i have an announcement to make.”

“Are you pregnant? I hope its mine.” ray chimes in, jolting and grinning up at ryan when he gets a pinch.

Geoff pulls a face before laughing, “no, dumbass,” he leans back in his chair, “it has come to my attention that maybe,  _ just _ maybe, doing these jobs all  _ hair of the dog _ style might not be the best idea.”

“All  _ wot?!” _

Michael sighs, “one after the other, dipshit. It’s when you drink a beer when you have a hangover, s’meant to cure it.” he presses his face into the collar of his (jeremy’s) hoodie and closes his eyes as he listens.

“Yes,” geoff says, “thank you michael, very succinct.” the chair creaks, someone on the call moves something because a dull  _ clink _ sound echoes through the room, “i'm postponing the next heist indefinitely, preparations and all.”

“Seriously?” ryan asks, “you’re not kidding?”

“Not one fuckin’ bit. We’re all tired, and it’s not urgent. I thought maybe we should just wait for everyone to come home and have a week together, no jobs.”

There’s a chorus of noise. Gavin groans, hopefully in relief and bliss, while ray cheers and jack laughs softly. Even ryan seems to be happy about this, if his own chuckle says anything. Michael just sighs out, practically melting into his seat. The weight is lifted immediately, and suddenly michael feels happier. He smiles under the material of the hoodie.

“Gav,” geoff says, a smile in his voice. Michael opens his eyes and can see that its on his face, too, “i've spoken to matt, you’re getting a flight home in a couple hours. Team fuck-train,”

“Do we have to slam on the breaks?”

“nope, as soon as you finish your job you’re coming home. I’d pull you in sooner, but your contractor wants the job done asap. Same time home for you both.”

Michael looks up at the video and smiles when ray fist pumps. He catches gavin’s eyes and he relaxes more at the other lad’s sweet smile.

“That’s all i have to say,” geoff stands again, smiling at everyone, “just thought it would be a nice idea.”

Everyone says their goodbyes to the trio on call, and suddenly the skype window closes down. The computer is shut off, and the remaining four stand up.

“Michael,” geoff says, “can i borrow you?”

Jeremy brushes their hands as he passes, and michael knows he isn't in trouble. Jack presses a kiss to his cheek and leaves with jeremy, walking off in the direction of the kitchen.

Michael looks up at geoff and smiles tiredly, “what’s up, boss man?”

Geoff smiles kindly and walks over, closing the door before drawing michael into a tight hug. He isn't expecting it, but it’s  _ extremely _ welcome. He sinks into the man and grips the back of his shirt, sighing out tiredly. A kiss is pressed against the crown of his head through his hair, and geoff joins him in sighing out.

“You know you can talk to me, baby,” geoff says, “i know i'm your boss, but more importantly i'm your partner. If you’re not feeling great,  _ tell me _ .”

Michael simply nods against his chest, gripping tighter and squeezing a little, “i'm sorry.”

Geoff sighs again, leading them both to sit down. He scoots the chair closer, leaning forwards and grasping both of michael’s hands, “michael, there is  _ nothing _ to apologise for. This happens, okay? God knows i get that… that  _ wave _ , but i wont ever put any blame on you if you need to step out or we need to stop something.”

Michael nods, staring at the floor for a moment before looking up at geoff, smiling tiredly, “thank you, geoff. I…” he pulls a face, lips thinning before he links their fingers fully, “i know you don't want me to say it, but i really am sorry for not coming to you. You know how i get.”

“That i do,” geoff chuckles, kissing michael’s knuckles, “i really do.”

“But,” michael shifts a little closer, “i spent some time with jeremy last night, he stayed with me and i'm feeling a lot better than i did,”  _ not one-hundred percent _ goes unsaid, but the way geoff cups his cheek tenderly tells michael that he knows.

“I'm glad,” he says simply. Michael doesn't think about it before he's sliding closer and hugging geoff tight, arms around his neck and their cheeks pressed together. Geoff hugs just as tight, and things in michael’s mind click into place. The turntables resume speed, the song continues to play, and his stomach settles back on earth.

**Author's Note:**

> accepting requests on @ezwra
> 
> thinking about continuing this au [thinking face]


End file.
